Update

Hm, it's seriously about time I updated this blog, it's been over a month...but I still don't know what to write. I bleed out my trivial little life on helgon.net too and sometimes I just get sick of writing about myself all the time since I also keep an everyday journal...talk about egocentric ;) But somehow I don't got anyone else to write about either so what to do.

Anyway, I've spent three very emotional weeks as au pair on Ireland and come back home again. It didn't work out. Why? I got very frustrated and upset everytime Jackie Bennett (the mother) found silly things to remaind me of doing or complain about making me feel like a lazy good-for-nothing slacker dwandling about in her house. And of some reason I also wanted to tell her that her mother didn't live there meaning that she was well able to clean up her own messes. I don't know what really happened only that I didn't feel very well about it. We had two arguments in three weeks, I felt really crappy after two and basicly had a very different experience of being an au pair from my first time. And what the reasons are for that I'm not sure yet. Did Jackie really treat me so much differently than Brenda did? Or is it me that changed so much in just one and a half year? Both are possible on their own and both are much probable together but I just don't know what to think right now. It'll clear, I guess, with time but I do know that it was right to go home instead of feeling the way I did no matter the reason. So that's that. I'm back trapped on the countryside as an unemployed and unsuccessful writer.

Sweden and Hälsingland has a beautiful autumn though. I like it.