Last weekend

This was the last weekend on this school for this time (but I don't think I'll be back anytime soon). It’s been a great one though. We’ve had the best weather you can imagine and yesterday we barbequed and ate together and watched a cute film called “Amelie from Montemarte”. Today has been softer and we haven’t been outside so much but around and with open doors. I wish we had more time with eachother but I’m going home Tuesday and after that..who knows when we’re going to see eachother again? Maybe never though I’ll try hard to not let that happen. Those three girls means a lot to me and I’m amazed that they could get to me so quickly; it has just been a year and only half a year with Linda! If I’d only had a year with some other friends of mine we pobably wouldn’t have any contact today. But then again, we’ve been living with eachother too. I guess that changes things. For the better of course. Though I should have been a little more open to Isa and Dar especially. I’m such a coward. I can’t understand why Linda thinks I’m cool. I’m just stupid and she wouldn’t have known much more if it weren’t because she has qx like me...sometimes a part of me thinks that I should go kill myself right now only to show everyone just how much of a coward I am that escapes from my own feelings that I'm not sure I can handle and live with. But then, lucky me, an other part of me is too fucking curious to let that happen so I’ll probably live on for a while. Who knows what my feelings and other peoples feelings will lead to? My curious self wants an answer to that...

My neighbour opposit was crying only minutes ago and me and Dar knocked on the door and tried to get in contact with her. She didn’t answer though so we let her be. But should one leave crying people alone or should one interfere? I know that if I’m crying I want to be alone but then I don’t cry loudly, not even when I know that noone can hear me so I’m “safe”. I guess that it’s better to show that one cares than pretend to not notice and then accept to be ignored or turned away. I don’t know.