Am I a hypochondriac like my grandmother? Mum think so beacuse I complain about a knee that hurts sometimes when I climb ladders or stairs, or sit with it bent for too long. And she might be raight because is it really a problem I mean, I can use it, or is it just an overexaggrigated excuse for having something to complain about? I also had a rash for wearing a cord around my wrist as a bracelet, an allergic reaction in other words. It looked as if I’d wrapped a nettle around my wrist instead but it itched much more. I got curious and wanted to know why I had that reaction and got myself an appointment with a doctor to check it out. It’s on Thursday this week actually. That was also a cause for mum to call me a hypochondriac like her mother. Well, I think I have a right to be curious about different reactions in my body, I have a right to get answers, but does that make me a hypochondriac? On the other hand, if I am how would I know? In either case I’ve desided that the little I have left in mony ways are better spent on unpredictable “emergensies” than expensive curiosity about rashes I can easely avoid by not wearing stuff that triggers them. I’ll cansel my appointment. Though I know that will make mum feel she won over me and I don’t like her giving me the superior act which normally would make me get stubborn and not cansel my plan. But I don't think I can make mum understand there might be a difference between curiosity and attention-seeking hypochondria. To avoid fights between us when I’m home I’ve had to learn, like my dad before me, to let her believe what she wants and not try to explain to her what’s really going on because most of the time she won’t understand and get angry with me instead. I’ve become pretty good at swallowing my pride and so I’ll let her think I’m canselling beacuse she accused me of being an hypochondriac though I have to admit that was what got me thinking about my economical status too and realize that no matter why I fixed the appointment I actually don’t got the mony. I whent to the dendist last week since I’m going to Ireland again and that cost me 665 Skr and now I’m thinking it’s really stupid to spend that or more for something I don’t really need. So, mum, seemingly I’m giving in to your accusation and stay ignorant of what substances might trigger allergic reactions.

Yesterday I saw the best movie ever made so far. The dark knight with Christian Bale and our late star Heath Ledger. I was loving every minute of the film, klapping my hands to myself even, amazed by Ledgers genious acting and the vicious violence from all directions. It was also a bit tragic to see such extraordinary acting from a man I knew was dead but wanted to see more of. On the way home in the car my brother said that it was ironic to see the character survive when the actor is dead but I see it as Ledger now got eternal life in the Joker that I hope won’t have an actor replacement. At least not with the same Bat. And btw Bale is the worst Batman so far in my oppinion. His face is not square enough and he’s too thin, and too much of a Brat-Bat with a silly bass voice. George Cloony is the best Bat so far though the scripts for these two new films are better than they were for his. Val Kilmer was OK but clearly better than Bale. But my absolute favourite Batman is the cartoon one with shining white eyes that I watched as a child and made a big impression on me.

I've started to write again (it felt like a big weight fell off me when I got the au pair job so that I'm now light enough to be writing) and right now on a project I got the idea for at least two years ago but didn't know how to approach. Now it feels like I'm getting somewhere though there's still a few sections I fear I don't have what it takes to write. But, that's not the point, the point is that three or four days ago I found a book by someone I've never heard of before; Lee Child. The name of the book was "One shot" and it was like someone pounched me; it's a title that describes the core of my story! So I had to pick it up and read it, a sign as big and fat as that can't be ignored, and to my big surprise the plot is miracuolusly similar to my own! Frightningly similar, but still not so much like each other that I have to terminate mine. "One shot" is the mature and idealistic rolemodel that my story needs looking up to if it want to be seen when it goes out in the world to stand on it's own legs. And anyway, even if my story never gets out, Lee Child's "One shot" is fabulous! Maybe I'll read more of him some other day.

It’s only two weeks left 'til I’m flying to Ireland again. It’s going to be interesting.