Death

To me Death is a safe haven I’ll come home to after a long and tiering adventure. It’s the end of all journeys; good or bad, harsh or easy. Some are running fast towards Death – or from it though it waits in all directions. Some are walking casually not minding much when or where Death will meet them while some are too buissy to even remember that Death is our final reward for all our troubles. Others knows it damn too well. There are those who gets tired waiting or find Life too much to deal with and takes matters into their own hands booking an earlier appointment with Death, while there are some who just sit around waiting.
My father’s mother did just that for eighteen years. She died Wednesday morning. She wasn’t really sick or even very old, only 75, but got a sudden unexpected stroke and died about twelve hours later without waking up. When her husband died eighteen years ago she didn’t show one bit of grief only sort of stopped living. She had diabetes type 2 and was very lazy (the symptoms of type 2 diabetes can be eased by loss of weight and exercise) and when she accidently broke her ankle she sat down in a wheelchair and refused to get up though she was physically able to. It is said that people that can’t show feelings usually will suffer physical consequenses instead.
I haven’t seen her in probably three-five years and don’t have much feelings for her; she mostly showed impatience for me and my brother and probably never quite believed that we were truly her grandchildren though I certainly look every bit like my father. My father was said to be sterile...anyway, on Monday I’ll see her dead body. Not for her sake but my father’s. Perhaps he don’t really care but it feels like I’m showing some respect for him and his grief if I see the corps of his mother. I suppose that it should be done in respect for her but I didn’t really like her and we weren’t that close so doing it might be hypocritical, and she don’t care btw, but still. For dad and the origin of dad. And I’ve never seen a dead person before so...

Yeah, I’m quite morbid...