Det 100de inlägget- and I'm mad

Yes, I'm stark raving mad.

Yesterday I got a question; a dog named Tyzon, a castrated Alsatian/something mixbreed that looks like an ebony black wolf needs a new home, would I want to take him?

My heart screamed YES YES YES GIVE HIM TO ME! I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!!!!!
Because his so damn beautiful and seems like a happy friendly dog that would bring my spirits up a few notches, something I desperatly need. He'd make me happy.

Of course I said no. It's the most sensible thing to do. Sure, it would probably work out fine financially if he stays healthy but what about work? As long as I got no job there's plenty of time for a dog but if I get a fulltime job I'll be out of the house for eleven-twelve hours, maybe more. No life for a dog, unless my dogfriendly landlord who gets home earlier wouldn't mind helping out but I can't relay on that. I'm brought up to be sensible and not do things that might have uncontrolable consequenses. Having a dog right no is perhaps a very unsensible thing to do.

But I couldn't help myself. I didn't agree to buy him but stupid enough I offered to become his fodervärd, it's just that if it doesn't work out, say I'll get a job I can't say no to, I can't give him back because he's been moving around too much as it is. I'll be stuck. What then? I should back off but...

But. I sense that if I say no to this I'll regret it because the rush of joy and actually hope that surged through me when Tyzon was offered to me was too strong to deny. I need this. I need him. I am an independent person but that doesn't mean I like being lonely. Perhaps I don't need people as much as "normal" people do but I do need company and love, I need a playmate and a challenge. A dog is everything I've dreamed of. Things will get complicated, some things even impossible but the things I lose by taking him on weighs very light against the things I'll gain. What's most important, I'm wondering, that I'm happy and poor or depressed with a fulltime job? Following my heart in this question wouldn't impress mum but I'll grow a few inches with the responsability and the consequenses that follows no matter how it goes.

It sounds like I've already decided, and my heart has, but I got til sunday to convince my sensible brain to take this chance and prevail, or fail. If I fail, perhaps Tyzon and I'll hate each other, the dog will hurt the most. Am I really prepaired to do that? Just because my heart is aching with longing and need? I don't know.