Dreams

I like dreams, the kind you have when you sleep. Usually they're nothing but brain fuzz but sometimes I get the feeling that they want to tell me something, and yes, I think that some of them can. Most of the time when I've had such a dream I wake up and know exactly what they mean. My dreams (the unfuzzy ones) are usually pretty straight forward even if they speak in symbols; because they're my symbols I know what they mean. It's like when I write a story- it might seem it's about one thing but usually that thing stands for something else (though sometimes not even I know what; so I'd say that my daytime "dreaming" are more "brain fuzz" than those special dreams that come at night). Even if I dream about an object or a person from reality most of the time they're still just symbols and have nothing to do with the real object or person.

Many years ago when I was in 8th or 9th grade (well, ten-eleven years ago then) I had one of these especially meaningful dreams. I was cupping my hands around a small treasure of very dear trinkets; pretty buttons, a smooth stone, a silver chain or a piece of glass, that sort of things. Some of them existing in reality, some are just random objects. Then they started slipping through my fingers and fell down into a hole between the floor boards. I could see them sparkling up at me from the darkness, just out of reach for my fingertips and I sat back on my heels thinking that, well, at least I know where they are and in a safe place too.

When I woke up I knew this would happen with my friends of that time. They'd slip through my fingers and sparkle at me just beyond my reach. It did happen, and kept happening and I know, now, that no one is really out of my reach it's just me that won't, well, disturb the treasure. It seems safe where it is and I don't need to touch it to enjoy its gleam.

On the other hand; maybe it was just a dream. A dream about those trinkets, which some exists in reality, but are gone and out of my reach now. Why do I have to make it a symbolic dream that says something about me and my friends? Well, because it just comes to me. I don't spend hours considering possible meanings or consult some book of dream symbols that usually are overly fond of Freud. It just feels right and I believe it. I also believe that even though our way of creating symbols for ourselves may be very influenced by our cultural environment they're still very personal which means that the only one who can make a correct interpretation is the one who actually had the dream- not someone else and certainly not some book of old symbolics!- and yet I can't keep myself from making interpretations for others too so perhaps I'm just one of those who always have to create meaning even when I can't really know the meaning of the symbols. My interpretations follow one basic rule though- like riddles dreams are usually not as complicated as they might seem and the answer should feel like: "Of course! That's it! How could I miss that?"