Done deal?

Went to see a consultant of the Trans-team in Uppsala this morning. Had to be there nine o'clock; took fifteen minutes on the bike to town for a bus 7.30, forty-five minutes on the bus to Uppsala, ticket and patient's fee payed- for a five-minute meet...

Yesterday I took the train back to civilization after two well needed weeks home in the forest with my folks. I would've stayed, at least 'til Friday because there's no buses from town and out here in the weekends, but had to do an exam, so. At the station in Gävle I had a text message from the hospital about the meeting today. I know they've been trying to reach me on the phone- I got the messages last week when I turned it on for a while- and said they would send a letter with the appointment but they didn't say what time it was so I just assumed the appointment would be next year or something. Nope. So I had one day heads up. Lucky me deciding to go and have the exam when I did.

About that meeting; I knew it would be short- what's there to say? I'm happy with my life as it is now, I'm like "finnished"- I've felt that way since the top-surgery in 2011 and I'm pretty sure I've told them this. But apparently, since I haven't changed my social security number and thus my legal gender stays the same as it's always been, they're unsure of my status as finnished with them. Interesting. I told them last time though that I wouldn't change this because it's not important to me (even though one point of keeping the numbers they gave me at birth is to prove how silly it is to have gender-specific numbers) but I told them again and this guy said that he would ask the others what to do about me; he'd never met one like me [transsexual] that didn't want to "finnish" with changing my legal gender. But if I concidered myself to be done with them they wouldn't have to check up on me every six month as they've done 'til now, and I suggested that an 18 month intervall would suffice- that's what I get with the dentist...

Don't get me wrong- I'm not complaining; I'm having fun. I'm not even the mildest bit annoyed and won't be until they give me any real problems (like taking me off my meds or something) even though they're wasting my time and money. I'm amused by their confusion. I even considered telling them about my family-planning scheme for future years- my usual consultant on these meetings had a "funny" view of trans-parenthood and I half wanted to try them again- but didn't. Why stay longer than necessary and besides- it's none of their business ;)

An other thing I got thinking about is that I've always had one and the same consultant before on these meetings but last time there was a new one, and this time yet an other. Is that really patient-friendly? I don't mind now that I'm done with it all, but before it would've felt like I had to expose myself to yet an other person and convince them of my genuinity. It might've felt very uncomfortable, even traumatic like I'd been put infront of a jury (like we are in a way). I hope they only do that to people like me who already got the diagnosis, had the medication and recovered their life so to speak, and not to those early on in the process when it's difficult enough to trust and open up to ONE person who's really there to judge you. Meeting different people with different functions is one thing, but these last two consultants have the same function as the one I've always had before. Odd. It's like they don't realize how vaulnerable one are coming there and how daunting it can be to meet a new person- you don't know what this one's going to be like and even though they read your journal they're going to ask the same questions to hear the answers for themselves, and maybe read something different out of them...hm, I should've asked what the point might be.