Coping part 1- sensational news

 It doesn't automatically make anyone an asshole for announcing news like these and I understand the reaction. Finding out someone is trans may be surprising but even if your first reaction is “WTF?!” this is hardly sensational news and after a moment or two you should go “so what?” But if you don’t feel that straight away, perhaps you need some  time and help to digest it.

I am transgendered- I was born with female parts but identify as male. Sometimes I too make the mistake of giving people the pronoun traditionally associated with certain genitalia and not their actual gender identity. It only makes you an asshole if you do this by purpose. It’s deeply rooted in our minds that genitalia decide what we should call each other no matter who we are and want to be recognized as. This is because we live in a society where these things matter: genitals and gender identity, sex and reproduction are things we take very seriously. We take it so seriously that we even developed dress codes, language and behavioral patterns to show the world what we’ve got, or “should” have, between our legs. Why? So that we know with whom we can make a family, or prefer having sex with. So when people like me go against that tradition the whole world seemingly falls apart for some people. Because they realize they can’t actually tell for sure by someone’s clothes, features, speech or behavior what genitals they have, only what gender they wish to express.

I know that announcements such as the one in the comic  or really personal questions are tiresome and insulting, but it doesn’t make anyone an asshole for believing things they’ve been told since childhood. It’s not a crime being scandalized when you realize that Santa probably doesn’t exist anywhere but in your mind; it’s natural. To most people transsexuals are extra ordinary stuff for the tabloids and not someone you might meet in your everyday life so I don’t find it very odd that some people react this way. Thinking that genitals decide the “actual” gender identity is a common misconception all of us grew up with and had to deal with, all in our own time. This is a fragment of truth most humans around the globe believe in as the basis for their reality and when you take that away there’s bound to be upset feelings or at the very least confusion unless you can offer more solid ground. You've just altered their very understanding of reality! Everyone won’t accept anything else than what they knew before, no matter what you say, but calling them assholes won’t help anyone either even if it may be temporarily gratifying to do so.